|*young at heart*
||[Mar. 18th, 2004|04:38 pm]
|||||Foo Fighters - All My Life||]|
Just been reading a certain person's old journal, and now i feel down. I miss them, as a friend that is. He was a good friend, i miss those talks we used to have. just going to put bits of his journal on, bits that made me upset and down.
Woooooo Becky came online, shame im so depressed like her...wish I could make her happy.
hmmmmm.....was going to say loads but I just lost the care for doing it so I wont.
Borrowing my friends car on Friday....going to drive away from here, dont know where but I am going to, though ill be back to see Becky.
[ .188. ] do you love anyone right now: Im nearly there
[ .195. ] so what is your bf/gf/crush like: beautiful, amazing, wonderful, perfect....the list goes on
.237. ] who can you stay around foreverkand never get sick of: Becky
[ .241. ] shyest: Becky probably
[ .242. ] best hair: Becky (ginger wow beautiful)
[ .243. ] can always make you laugh: Loz, Oddball and becky
[ .248. ] hot tempered: Becky can be sometimes, well to me anyways or is that just demending???
I had such a nice day today with Becky, wait was it yesturday now?!, no idea well saturday then, just wondered around and spent time in sahara with her, it was so nice just sitting with her in my arms even though I was in pain because she was laying on my ribs I have broke but i didnt want her to move so I didnt say anything :)
Meeting her again tomorrow, no today now, yes, dont know what we are going to be doing but it realy doesnt matter.
How dare you just walk away from me Becky when you went home!!! how rude!!! :(
But anyways im sorry and ill make it up to you when I see you.
Anyways im going back to talking to Becky
THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
1. If you wish
2. I win (usualy to Becky)
3. ---- off im busy (when somone fones me, I loath fones)
Every now and again we are all given a perfect moment, a moment where everything makes sence, a moment where everything seems right and good, a moment where everything feels like its going to be all ok. If you can be kissing or holding in your arms a gal like Becky in one of them moments then you realy have it made.
Went to the flixs with her today, wow I loved just being with her, the film was crap realy but since it was her I went with everything was all good. Cant wait to see her again, I asked her to come meet me tomorrow, I hope she does.
She says she is scared to have a relationship with me, I hope she decides to give it a go. I would try to make her as happy as possible, I wonder if she knows just how much I do and have liked her...hmmmm...not sure...well if she doesnt know and wants to she will ask me I would think.
I have been looking for somone who I could try and give the world to, somone to be happy with and for them to be happy with me, I wonder if we did get together if she could be the one for all that. She is so nice and wonderful to be with and she makes me smile which is rare for a gal to be able to do to me. Well I always smile but I dont have to fake my smile with her unlike nearly everyone else.
Hmmmmm well enough of me constantly talking about her, grrrrr, cant get her off my mind
I cant wait until Saturday, taking my somone special to the cinema but I dont know what to see, I dont care realy im just happy to be going with her. 3 days until I get to spend time with her again, it seems way too far away
hmmm Becky seemed to get in a bad mood tonight...not sure if it was my fault or not, I dont actualy ever know because she never tells me anything like that...she wont ever open up to me so I have to sit and guess at whats wrong or if im to blame but I cant ever figure it out. hhmmm thats one of the reason that me and my ex split up...that and one or two other reasons.
I know after reading Becky's journal that she does care for me alot, she says she loves me and I do believe her but some part of me thinks something else...is alot of affection the only way I can tell that I am loved???? I have no idea...its all so messed up inside of me.
Well I'm almost in tears. I miss him. I know i should be happy when i look back on what we had. But we didnt have it for that long, since i ------ everything up
God i miss him soooooooooooooooooooooo much
I want him, i need him, i miss him. i loved him, :'(
why did we have to break up, well we had to yeah. but why dint we stay in touch. I lost a good friend. I just want to be friends with him again